I am in a pissy mood cuz I went on messenger and a friend sent me something about how we should trust government - ugh - if they can't get onboard with vaping I CANNOT trust them - they are either stupid or care more about cig taxes than people dying! That is evil and corrupt in my mind so why should I trust them?! And the media has made it all the worse and we know that government plays a big hand in what they allow the media to talk about. It's all coming to a head either people realize we are being manipulated big time by media or they just go about like sheep and we never learn and false news wins out again! And no I am not so stupid as to think Covid is a hoax or that there was some huge conspiracy however I DO think they are taking full advantage and the rich are becoming richer and the poor poorer.
What to do today - make more soap - clean the damned kitchen and finish the laundry. I think I will make a cherry cobler, comfort food. I am feeling especially vulnerable in a world that I no longer can justify is good. I still have high hopes for humanity but right now all I see is that people are being led to make their own immune systems weak in order to protect the immunocompromised and as a result we are experiencing a huge economic problem that will more tear our country apart and as a result when we finally relax the guidelines even more people will die due to having been cooped up for weeks!!!
I'm irritated with myself because I do not feel like going to stores and trying to sell hand sanitizer and I know RD is counting on me to do just that. But I only have like 10 bottles left plus they leak plus the shipment I ordered 4/12 of new spray bottles hasn't even shipped and by the time they do everyone will be stocked up on hand santizeer - wish I had never taken that on. So even if I could convice someone to whole sale for me the most I can make off this is $60 so it just isn't worth it to me!! And I feel bad but I did everything I could to get the stupid bottles the way they are supposed to be and it just is taking them too long to get it shipped. What can I do? If I wholesale 10 whole bottles and they ask for more it is going to be an embarrassment when I can not produce them and I am just not willing to put myself thru that. I don't need more reminders of how bad a salesman I am. I am doing pretty okay with soap and so I am going to stick to that.
I WANT to be motivated but it is very hard to do when I am in such a pissy mood I am watching and listening to nature scenes on youtube so I am trying to fix the mood situation. I'd actually like to make sugar scrub today not soap or both. If I can just get it together in my head!!!
Some guy tries to tell me the mortality rate of covid is 15% worldwide - according to that then 15% of people should be dead. It is the same as saying 20% of people can throw a 75mph fast ball without mentioning that they only tested baseball players - what he meant to say of poeple who have traveled and or are sick and have been tested the mortality rate is 15% - that is an entirely different meaning of mortality rate!!! I'm sick of this stupid nonsense of making it out to be the end of the world - it isn't - it will pass, X no. of people will die and that hopefully will be that like the Spanish flu. If it mutates and goes on for years like the regular flu does then we are in for bigger numbers of those already unhealthy or elderly dying - this is true but must we all have the economy collapse? I mean there are 2!! people in my life who are tested positive for covid - one in a motel is asymptomatic and insurance is mostly covering his quarantine there and one IS symptomatic and in a hospital - and this of course makes me mad that people I know are being affected and of course in some black communities everyone knows multiple people affected so they must be REALLY MAD - but I STILL think that ruining the economy is going to end up being a bigger killer than covid! But we won't know what really happened here for about 25 years in the meantime all of us just have different OPINIONS on what is actually going down here and that is all they are but we sure do know how to argue about them!! As if we are all experts on the subject when no one really knows enough about it! The whole thing is a major irritation - BUT do I allow my mood to be adversely affected everyday by this? It WILL weaken me and it will make me more likely to get ill should I come into contact with it if I do not take some control here of my own life and improve my mood!! So how do I do that? I guess lay off the social media if I can stand to do so. TRULY stop with the carbs!! Eat mostly keto! Talk to shrink 5/26 I think is my appt about sleeping problem and go to PT and clean the house and make soap and sugar scrub and get it together already - stop drinking so much! Get creative if need be - paint!!
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