Okay so I just stopped writing maybe 20 minutes ago and already have something else to say. People often feel like they can tell me anything. Not always - some folks never let people in EVER or extremely rarely. I had thought for a very long time it was because I myself am open with others. I thought that the fact that I make myself vulnerable to others by sharing my feelings and being honest that that helped others to let down their guard and hence why people feel they can like tell me day one some of their deepest darkest stuff. But what if that is not the reason at all. Maybe I do not have to make myself vulnerable with people in order to get them to open up. Maybe they do so for an entirely different reason and maybe that reason is because I appear to be very understanding/empathetic. I guess my question is is it obvious to others that I am this way? My friends have told me it is obvious to them - blatantly obvious. Why is it not obvious to me?
Let's just quickly go over some of the reported I don't know what to call them signs? symptoms? LOL of what describes an empath: they are often uncomfortable in groups; when around others they feel like they literally feel their pain, joy, rage, etc; they can sense the energy of a room and much more often than your regular joe they choose to leave spaces where the energy is uncomfortable - usually places with people in them but not universally; they often feel much of their life like they don't quite fit in; they value alone time (NEED it) regardless of whether they are introverts or extroveerts; they say they can catch when folks are lying. I'm sure there are other descriptions more ..... descriptive LOL but those are the main ones I have seen over and over.
All apply to me except for the lie-detector. I am terribly gullible and only catch people lying when they are feeling strongly different than the words that come out their mouths. So I am only a lie-detector when it is about something involving emotions - if they told me they went to Jack-in-the-box and really they went to McDonald's I will NOT catch it - but if they say they are comfortable when they are in pain I WILL catch it. Only sometimes will I call them on it because I figure it is their business and if they wanted me to know they'd tell me. The only time I confront them is when I feel like I can actually be a help to them and usually but not always I am right in that regard which ends in a long story and sometimes tears, many times laughter and most always relief even if I had to play some devil's advocate with them to get them there. So I have played counselor quite often in my life. Like literally in almost every exchange with people do they tell me what's going on with them and seek my help and how I come to know many people too as usually, not always, we end up friendly.
There are a few exceptions. I have one friend who does not open up to me with everything and maintains a space between us and this is actually rather a huge relief in that I am able to express myself much more than I do with others. Another exception is my sister - she has known me so long that I doubt seriously she could think of me as anything but her sister so if asked is Cyn an empath?, I think she would go HUH? never thought about it idk. Because why would she - when you grow up knowing each other all your life you can't really accurately judge each other because you are literally too close to the subject to be objective. It would be like asking her is Cynthia bipolar - well if a dr never had dxd me with it and my family come to know it even though she is a nurse it is doubtful in my mind anyway that it would ever occur to her that I might be..... well and any other dx would have been just as easily accepted once outted by a doc and told to my family so.... it's like a non-issue (she would have surely thought I had some kind of anxiety issue or some depression or some kind of something because for many years I was obviously symptomatic but bipolar? I doubt it) and with her I am too close to her to catch only but obvious lies (and she doesn't lie well or often LOL) and I would never confront her on them as she knows she can talk to me if she needs to.
Other than those relationships most people if we are one on one will open up with me and tell me all kinds of stuff that they might not normally talk to anyone about - it usually happens initially upon first contact and thereafter I establish some boundaries as I am not anyone's shrink and only help out where I feel like I actually have input that will actually be helpful. Course with people I am super close with I say what's on my mind and boundaries are less an issue but with new people just for my own mental health I will usually be open and helpful at first if someone is needing some help but then back off a touch if they are wanting a constant shoulder to cry on. I will reiterate whatever was my first advise in different words, confirm/validate that I understand but that beyond what I can offer I cannot give for usually obvious reasons. I generally do alot more listening in my relationships than talking with the one exception I mentioned.
Sometimes if someone is on the edge of a decision I will offer to do a reading for them. Tarot is easy for me and I think most people if they give it an honest go will find it is easy for them too (one of the reasons I think we are all empaths - just matter of degree in terms of sensitivity makes one a mmm true? empath?) But maybe I am wrong maybe your average joe would find tarot difficult - truly that is usually a nonissue too because generally only sensitives will actually put in the effort to learn anyway. In any case, it works 99.9% of the time to be absolutely on target and helpful in aiding the person making said decision. There have been times with people who go in knowing I can read where I surprise them with stuff they were not ready to talk to ANYONE about and I don't know that. I just read the cards and their reaction tells me all I need to know LOLOLOLOLOL. Unfortunately every once in a while this ends with the person being taken off guard and admitting perhaps with some discomfort that they planned on telling no one that and then either say they will use the info but don't wish to discuss it or a whole new story starts up and then we discuss how to resolve it.
Okay and so now it's day two (a couple paragraphs back) 11am, I took meds, had a probiotic prebiotic vegi drink, feel okay but still tired even though I slept probably about 7 hours. I may or may not write again today later. Oh and I have been feeling lazy and irritated with myself because I am not wanting to move the last few days however I did hit my head and it does still hurt so maybe some symptoms of a concussion going on - hopefully not leading to a downturn in mood. And I want to garden today if I can work up the energy and maybe do some housecleaning - for sure some cooking. And some social media business and accounting.
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