Austin's graduation is today - I intend to rest up hopefully get more sleep, take a shower and be there - it is at 3pm. If I am unable at least I tried. It's being held in cars which is going to be interesting - not sure how they are going to pull it off.
I am feeling frustrated to my limit! And helpless. Like I have no control here - maybe an illusion but I seem victim to these symptoms - I wish I knew what to do to make myself right again. Eating very nutritionally dense stew and taking viatmins has done nothing. Some nights I have drank and I thought that was helping me sleep but nope - last night from about 6p-9p I had like 4 shots when I went to sleep around 11p I was hoping for another 7 hrs but looks like drinking does not help afterall. At least I was in a slightly better mood for a few hours. I will skip drinking tonite and I want to do my exercises at the very least today for my back. Pick up my remeron and see if it helps me sleep tonite.
I had gone to the doc a week ago and they have not got back to me about my blood test - I guess if something were terribly wrong they would have but maybe call them today to see if they have results.
Another hot flash - that makes 4 tonite grrr - heat flashes last about 2 minutes and are followed by being cold
Okay slept about 3-4 more hrs - wake 7am
I wanna be writing about all I am getting done and how I feel good about it!! Grrrr I woke a half an hour agao and still super sleepy. Drifted off yet again and missed the graduation. Damnit!!! ARGH!!! Plus I didn't p/u the remeron. I could scream! I honestly don't have the energy to do so. I guess sometime when I was up earlier today I called the doc and they said my vitamin B and folate are fine. They didn't test my liver enzymes - I guess I should have reminded them but it is in their records which I guess they didn't check that my liver was due to be tested and I had missed that appt - I assumed they'd do it now but I guess not. When I get THIS frustrated I just want to give up. But I know life will bring me back round to where I am having fun again I just have to WAIT THIS SHIT OUT!!! GRRRRRRRR
Ummm, im begginning to recognize a pattern. I think r'there may a different way to approach this mood disrupt and constant state of irritability... Not necessarily easy , but attainable..
ReplyDelete1. Focus on what is pleases you the instant that nagging irritable cyst takes over your throat and neck...
Deliberberately and instantly shift focus whether it's an easy fix it not you have make a instantaneous act and make a CHOICE on how you are willing to live and feel like.
I know, you are probably rolling the eyes and sighing right now as you red this. Go ahead. It WORKS!
If consistently direct your mind and shift your conciousness every single time,.., it will become natural and instinctual because the irritated way of being will become uncomfortable once you take action to eliminate it from your being it not stay long,. You will find that your experience will aitoma7bevome more pleasant and peaceful and a nicer place for your friends to hang out and feel, with you,.
Please don't think I'm talking out of my ass, I myself do this EVERYDAY AND NIGHT, (depending on which aspect I'm shifting { it is not easy and daunting at first. But stock with it and you will be a different happier person. ����