Okay did your standard grounding/shielding - takes me aboot 15 minutes now but will go quicker the more I do it. I am a bit out of practice but what I normally do is I stand feet shoulder width apart and I sent my energy down into the ground imagining roots growing out the bottom of my feet soo far into the ground that it gets near the earth's core - this took probably about 3-4 minutes as I had some trouble focusing and staying on what i was doing but managed it. Then I start my chakras spinning like wheels front to back so base red, right below navel orange, solar plexus yellow, heart green, throat blue, third eye purple/amethyist the right above my head white. I go one by one getting them spinning all same direction and when I feel they are I pull up energy from the ground in the same order up and up chakra by chakra breathing in deep helps me pull it up and then when it gets to the white above my head I shoot it straight up into the sky - used to be I'd catch star energy but only managed to make it about moon high which is fine to start at. Grab moon energy and bring it back down then chakra by chakra I feel it going down while the earth energy is still going up the front and sky/moon energy going down the back round these circles like wheels carrying water and send that deep into the earth and then enjoy for a moment the feeling of the energy running up and down my body and give thought of gratitude to earth and sky/moon and now I am fully grounded. I am much more steady on my feet I have been breathing deeply. Now I build a shield of white light like a cocoon starting about 3 ft below me and going round me in a circle as if it the light is big swaths of fabric and I got round and round my body til I feel I have been cloaked on all sides about 3 feet out in a big circle of light. I pull up and down energy a bit more fully cloaked to reinforce the shield and then disengage from earth and sky and walk away within my ball of white protective light and thus I am shielded from negative energy. Intent is important and gratitude is important as is ability to imagine all that be able to know precisely where your chakras are located and feel them doing as they are supposed to and keeping it all straight in your head but so long as you are breathing deeply and concentrating this isn't too difficult and is a pleasant sensation and I feel stronger and sharper and more calm all at once. Each time I do this it should take less time and one can actually eventually get to where one pictures the whole thing and snaps their fingers and all is in place - so in a time of emergency you can do this in a blink of an eye. When I get there that will be a relief.
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PT, salad/bread for lunch, meds, nap for a couple hours. Gots to remember to take vitamins with dinner - fish and greens I think. Shouldn't have had the bread but it really does help me sleep to eat carbs unfortunately they end up on my tummy - toooooo many variables. I feel overwhelmed just trying to make the most simple (or should be simple decisions like what to eat) details that need be managed.. I had been doing alright there for a while before hitting my head and now I just am struggling for most of each day to get basics done. I did work on webiste a bunch this morning. But I mean I coiuld have got more done today right? I feel like I should have - I got two boxes of soap packaged and weighed, paid postage and went to PO. But I mean that is it but maybe that IS all I can manage when my sleeping is so messed up right now. I feel both like I am not trying hard enough AND giving myself too hard of a time over it. Talk about conflicted lOLOLOLOLOLOL
My buddy and I are back on talking terms. I knew we would be but I gave her a fright and now she is worried about overwhelming me and I get it I totally do but at the same time it is not her responsibility to manage my emotions rather mine and I figure we both had our faults plus good points on the whole thing. So I hope that I didn't scare her so bad that she feels she cannot talk to me as I think for the very most part I do okay - just every now and then I lose my shit lOLOLOLOLOL. I am trying to gain more control there and basically the whole reason for the journal is to do that. It is 845p. I slept thru time to do grounding and shielding .... probably should do that ugh maybe I am lazy - but I go thru my spurts of energy and my lows of energy and have a hard time motivating when I am on a low ya know? I didn't feel like this morning did much of anything but I AM so out of practice. How about a compromise - just for now do it every morning as twice a day from the get might make me stop altogether too soon or give up too fast. See if it makes a difference or not before throwing in the towel or adding to it. Try to stay on damn diet, take vits/meds, drink my vegi drink and water and exercise and clean house and water the plants and sell the damn sanitizer and keep up the accounting and websiste and etsy etc etc etc! LOLOLOLOLOLOL I swear my outlook changes with the weather and at any given time can be totally positive to totally negative or anywhere in between with highs and lows that put a roller coaster to shame LOLOLOLOLOL (nag nag nag complain complain complain lOLOLOLOL)
My cat Sheldon this morning
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